The Final Lap

In which a 34-year-old thinks about retirement

This week, I calculated that the average age of members in our church is 70. This means I spend more time thinking about the joys and challenges of later life than the average person in the 18-34 age category. And I also spend a lot of time celebrating the many blessings that come from pastoring people with 50+ years’ experience of following Jesus and finding him faithful.

For these reasons, I really enjoyed reading the latest book from John Wyatt (aged 71). In The Final Lap (published by 10ofThose this year), he discusses three major transitions in later life: from work to retirement, from independence to dependence, and from life to death. As the title suggests, he uses the image of long-distance running (even though the book cover has a car on it, which would be considered cheating in most marathons). And like long-distance runners, we need to prepare in advance for the transitions that lie ahead, recognising that the course set for us is an individual one, and yet we’re not running alone. It’s a group race.

This is a short book, but one that’s worth reading slowly. John Wyatt has a lot of wisdom and encouragement to share. And I wanted to pass on a few thoughts which I’ve found particularly helpful, and which I hope will continue to help me as a pastor, a friend, and a Christian who may reach these transitions in the distant future.

Purposeful retirement

As a pastor, I’m not sure I’ve spent enough time thinking about retirement. I don’t mean my own retirement, but how to support and encourage those who are transitioning from paid employment to whatever comes next. And I wonder if this is often true in churches — is this a significant life transition we need to reflect on more as Christians?

John Wyatt highlights two dangers that arise if we don’t approach retirement thoughtfully and reflectively. One is the danger of “contented selfishness”, where preparing for retirement is all about finances, and retirement itself is about using those finances to tick items off our bucket lists. The other danger is being “overly duty-driven”. We can enter retirement overloading ourselves with lots of things we feel we ought to be doing, without reflecting enough on what is realistic or right for us.

In response to these dangers, he quotes some words from Frederick Buechner on vocation: “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”¹ In other words, we think about how God has made us, our personalities and the things that bring us joy. And we think about the needs of people around us, and how we might be able to meet those needs. And our vocation — in an ideal world — is where those two things intersect.

As John Wyatt recognises, this is a fairly idealistic approach to life. And yet, “there is something very profound in this thought, particularly for older people” (14). As Christians approach retirement, thinking about these intersections could provide a good basis for personal reflection or discussion. Or if retired folk are feeling a bit lost or overwhelmed, this could bring some helpful clarity.

Intergenerational friendships

In the discussion of purposeful retirement, this book highlights five particular contributions that older people can make in church life and the wider community. You’ll have to read the book to find out the other four, but I was particularly encouraged to see John Wyatt championing the value of intergenerational friendships. We’ve been blessed as a family by such friendships, and I think this is one way churches can be distinctively welcoming communities in our society.

Wyatt encourages older readers to recognise that they can be valuable friends to younger people in their churches. With each new generation, older people can understandably feel that they have less and less to offer, especially when the under-25s start talking about Lil Nas X or TikTok. But everyone of whatever age has something to offer. Young people don’t just need friends who will debate whether “That’s What I Want” is a better song than “Panini”.² They also “need friends with life wisdom, people who are available, who will listen to them and love them and pray for them” (21).

This week, a friend shared with me a photo of my 8-year-old and 5-year-old children eating fish and chips at a church coffee morning, sat at a table with people aged between 83 and 97. On Sundays, church friends go out of their way to share with them a joke, an animal fact or a magic trick, or to ask them about the picture they’ve drawn or the craft they’ve done. It’s a real joy to know our children are growing up in a church where older Christians take an interest in them, and consistently pray for them, and will be ready to offer wisdom and encouragement to them (and us!) in the future.

Mutual burdensomeness

The second transition John Wyatt discusses is the move from independence to dependence. For most of us, later life will involve increased dependence on others. This can be a troubling and unnerving prospect. We can fear the idea of being a burden. But this book aims to give us a more positive perspective on dependence.

In short, being dependent on others is part of what it means to be human. None of us are ever truly independent. When we are born, we are completely dependent on various care-givers, and we continue to depend on others in various ways throughout our adult lives. John Wyatt quotes Gilbert Meilaender’s phrase “mutual burdensomeness” — it is good for us to be mutually interdependent.³ Bearing one another’s burdens is how we fulfil the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2).

Even if we are fully dependent on the care of others, this does not undermine our dignity. This is made clear in the earthly life of Jesus, and especially the incarnation and crucifixion, where we see God’s power and glory displayed “in dependence, in vulnerability” (37). Christ’s identity and dignity was not demeaned by needing help to get dressed, or stay hydrated. And so too for us: Whatever care we need at the end of life, “our dignity and status as a beloved child of God is not in the slightest altered or demeaned” (38).

Although not discussed in this book, this perspective on dependence is foundational for a Christian response to assisted suicide.⁴ The fear of being a burden in our life’s final period lies behind some of the support for legalisation in the UK. But the Bible meets us in our fears to reassure us that whatever our age or health conditions, we matter, we’re loved, and our lives have God-given value and dignity. And this is an important message to communicate to each other. We should never treat each other disparagingly as burdens, but as people to be loved, whose burdens we gladly help to bear.

Final preparations

The closing chapter of the book covers the final transition, from life to death. This is the transition that can bring us the most fears and anxieties — but in Jesus, these fears are answered with eternal hope and abundant peace. And although the circumstances and timing of our death are unknown to us, we can still prepare well for this moment through the decisions we make earlier in life. After all, as John Dunlop writes, “Dying well is nothing more than living well, right up to the end.”⁵

In discussing these final preparations, I appreciated John Wyatt’s reflections on the Bible’s metaphor of “falling asleep” as a description of dying in Christ. Every night of our lives, our Father in heaven is compassionately preparing us for what lies ahead: “You know precisely what it feels like to die in Christ — it feels like falling asleep” (58). And, to be more specific, it’s like falling asleep “after a long, gruelling and exhausting day”, knowing that it’s “the first night of the holidays, with all the anticipation, excitement and joy to come when they wake up in the morning” (59).

And on that glorious new morning, there will be no more death, or crying, or pain, for this present order of things will have passed away forever. Come, Lord Jesus!

Some links

You can get a copy of The Final Lap from 10ofThose here.

You can also listen to John Wyatt’s three talks on this topic from the 2022 Keswick Convention here, here and here.

The photo in the heading is by Anna Shvets: https://www.pexels.com/photo/senior-man-running-on-racetrack-in-stadium-5067674/

1. Frederick Buechner, “Vocation,” online at https://www.frederickbuechner.com/quote-of-the-day/2021/7/18/vocation

2. John Wyatt doesn’t actually mention Lil Nas X in the book, so I’m uncertain what his view on this question is.

3. Meilaender coins this phrase in Bioethics: A Primer for Christians (Eerdmans, 2020), page 3. See also his article, “I Want to Burden My Loved Ones” at First Things: https://www.firstthings.com/article/2010/03/i-want-to-burden-my-loved-ones

4. John Wyatt has written about this topic elsewhere, most fully in Right to Die? Euthanasia, Assisted Suicide and End-of-Life Care (IVP, 2015), which is a compassionate and helpful book.

5. John Dunlop, Finishing Well to the Glory of God: Strategies from a Christian Physician (Crossway, 2011), page 12.